cleaning up, a little

On monday I looked in my top desk drawer for my exacto knife and couldn't find it. I didn't look very hard because there were just too many layers of things and stuff and I couldn't see much beyond that. On tuesday or wednesday (I already forget) I couldn't find my pen. After accusing my office mates of stealing it (you know, it's one of those super special plastic Intel pens we used to have boxes of) I realized that I could just get another pen from my drawer. So I just had to clean out the entire drawer. Ultimately I found my missing pen under my desk - and - I have a clean desk drawer. Everytime I open the drawer it makes me a little happy.

I realize now that I could probably get that same happy feeling in a bigger way if I came home to a clean and tidy house, but i haven't figured out how to accomplish that yet. My chore schedule experiment was a failure and I don't know how to create the motivation to start and sustain a cleaning schedule.

This weekend is a 3-day weekend for me. I don't have any plans yet but plans are critical to my actually getting anything done.

Read More

Tasty goodness

Someone brought cupcakes into work today and they were the good, homemade ones even. I had three. I didn’t mean to eat three, but I had the first one when I got my first cup of coffee this morning, and then when I went to refill my coffee cup, there were a lot left, and I had to try the other flavor. I apparently couldn’t help myself when I went in the third time and there were still cupcakes on the counter. Usually food goes so fast in this place – so are guys just afraid of the cupcakes then? Exercising my willpower, I passed up the cupcakes this last time and just filled my cup with hot water for tea. As I was walking away, I consciously told myself, “you don’t need another cupcake, you don’t even really want another cupcake, they’re not that great, you don’t need another cupcake.” But I know they’re still there, on the counter, mocking me.

I heard this story on the radio this morning before work. I have self-control, I just don’t always choose to use it.

Read More

Getting started again

Yesterday I made this for dinner. But the asian market was out of peppers and I added lightly fried tofu. It was still really good and I cooked it on super high heat and everything came out smoky and blackened. I’ll definitely try it again. I’m sure a hood fan would help though 'cause all the spicy steam made my nose burn a little.

++++++++++++++++++

It’s cliché but with the new year rolling around, I realized I’ve gotten lazy. I want to make more of an effort, be more mindful with my eating, get some of my projects done on the weekends. Part of this comes as I start to feel normal again after the 2-week scourge that made me miserable during my week off from work. I didn’t get any of my stuff done (except the overdue knitted x-mas presents) and now I’m behind. The bedroom project is two years in the making and I can’t let it stretch on forever. Especially now that my alarm clock is dying a slow death. Some mornings the alarm is 20 minutes late, others the beeps are three seconds apart (that’s actually kind of nice since I wake up on the first one). I received a new alarm clock for x-mas but it has to plug in and in the current bedroom setup there are no outlets near the bed, or even near either dresser. I am not going to start using my phone as an alarm clock. I refuse.

++++++++++++++++

I finally bought jeans that fit. It's been years since I've tried on a pair that didn't gape in the back but also didn't cling unattractively in places like my upper legs. Earlier in the fall I had high hopes for a pair of Gap jeans that were getting rave reviews, until tried them on and saw that they flattened my butt. I am not paying 65 dollars (even with 20% off) to get a flat butt. So the jeans I did buy are from Ann Taylor LOFT. I've ordered pants from LOFT in the past because they come in tall, and usually I am ultimately disappointed. The pants come, the fit, they're long and comfortable but then they stretch out. Blech.

I decided to try on jeans in one more store. I really started to feel like nothing would work. I knew I'd still have to order my pants online since no one seems to carry the talls in their store but I needed to know how they fit up top to avoid the too big in the waist and flat but problems. The pants were laughably short and fit weird around the knee, but I knew those problems would be solved with the longer size. I also needed to go down a size to more closely match my waist measurement, even though I should size up for my hip measurement. Anyway, I was surprised they fit (mostly) and that night ordered the smaller size in tall. There is something validating about putting on a piece of clothing that fits and looks good and even though we all love our bodies just the way they are, we need clothes that flatter what we've got.

I feel a little silly talking about buying jeans, but it actually made me really happy to find some that fit, finally. Now I need two pair of slacks that fit. I promised myself that I would make those but I haven’t made the time or the space in my house yet.

Read More

lack of progress update

I'm really good at making lists and goals. Not as good at finishing things. I've already though of more "things I want to do this winter" but I haven't been too succesful at the items on list number one. I can't add anything new to my list because I need to be realistic. But there are all the other things that I need to do like make/repair things for christmas presents, build the monitor risers for work so I don't end up with a hunchback from slouching, patch the wall above the fireplace and scrape the bookcase doors to prepare for the living room paint job, plant the remaining bulbs in my giant outdoor pots (because I can't deal with digging anymore holes in the rocky weedy ground).

What have I been doing.

I helped prime and paint two bedrooms at my sister's house. They promised to help paint at my house after their upstairs is done.

I made a batch of these cookies. But they didn't turn out the way I hoped; they got all flat and overly browned. They still got eaten, but I do not consider them to be a success. I will try them again, but not fail this time.

It's so easy to fall back into routine and we have stopped eating at the table lately. Unless you count when company comes over and that was twice this weekend and on Friday we ate at my sister's house, so I guess we haven't been doing too bad. right.

This weekend I will hopefully rebuild the media center, plant the bulbs, do some more painting (not at my house), move the old gas grill.

Um, it's supposed to snow and rain for the rest of the week, yea!

Read More

get it to fit

In March I needed a new skirt to wear for work and since most of my shopping is done online (who has time to go shopping anymore) I decided to order two different sizes of the same skirt and try them both on. My logic was that I would pick the one that fit the best and probably still do some minor alterations and return the other. When I received the skirts in the mail I tried them on and was severely dissapointed. The size 12 skirt fit okay but it was a little tight in the hips and I knew I would be overly contious of how it fit and it wasn't really very comfortable. When I tried on the size 14 the fit in the hips was great but the waist was too big by at least 2 inches. Now this is obviously not a new thing but for years I avoided the issue. I bought skirts that sit on my hips not my waist I have many pairs of pants that sag because the other size was too tight around my legs. I've been trying this new thing though - wearing clothes that fit. I've been tucking in my shirts occationally. It's taken me a long time to realize that this is okay.
I hit a breaking point. I returned both skirts to the store and decided to sew the skirt myself. I used to sew a lot but haven't done much in years.

I made the one skirt (and half finished a second) and started collecting patterns, and buying fabric and making plans for the new clothes that I would make that would fit me. I haven't actually gotten much done though. I've been busy. But I also haven't made the time. I really want to focus on proper fit and I've run into some problems executing that . Once I figure it out, I'm sure it becomes easier.

Read More

Things I'm going to do this winter

I'm not doing a Christmas show this year at the theatre, I might not even be doing a winter show so I should have all sorts of evening and weekend time to get stuff done. Stuff that I always want to do, but never do. Things that I loose the motivation for every year.

Now that my sister lives close I've already asked her to help with the Christmas decorating. I will reciprocate of course and help at her house too, it's just that on my own I will only get as far as bringing the bin down from the attic and getting the tree assembled (yes it's fake - the best $5 I spent ever). That's it. Maybe I'll put the lights up because the lights are my favorite part. But now three years in a row I've been stunted in my ability to get the house in a festive mood.

1. Decorate the trees and house for Christmas (I also have two aluminum trees).

2. Make cookies & rum balls & those green marshmallow corn flake ones with the red hot candies.

3. Paint the Living Room. At least one room, maybe the dining room too.

4. Frame and hang art on walls.

5. Eat at the table. (we've actually done this 3 times this week already)

6. sew something to wear. I have so many plans, so many ideas, so much fabric...

There are so many other thing I want to do, but then my lists start being a little unrealistic and unattainable. Under promise and over deliver. If I get more done I'll be so excited! And if I don't manage to get anything done, I know that's just how my life is most days.

Read More

Running

The first time I ran for 20 minutes with out stopping I didn't think I could do it. And then the next week I ran for 25 minutes. Then the next week I was supposed to run for 28 (according to my running plan) but didn't. Now I know why having a goal in place is important. After running (and walking some) the 10K two weeks ago, I don't have a "reason" to keep running. Of course I didn't start running with a goal in mind except to get through the 8 week program. I kind of reached that goal but just don't feel the motivation to keep going. I mean, now that the 8 weeks is up, what do I do now? I'm not going to just keep on with the 5 minute warm up, 30 minute run, 5 minute cool down every other day. That's boring. So I've been running less because without the pressure of reaching the imposed goal other things seem more important, like getting to work on time.

Read More